Bolton Review

Well you can either shit or get off the pot, so I thought I'd give this article lark a pop. Where better to pop my journalistic cherry than the match that sparked a media frenzy build up of anticipation. Yes that was the build up to a November night as Everton took on Owen Coyle's Bolton. As with Hull City of yester year the rules of sports journalism(get me) dictate that the managers name must be inserted prior to announcing this teams name. As if they have changed grounds or soemthing, like the MK Dons.

Well its Wednesday night, its been more than a bit parky, and we are taking on Bolton. These are the things that test your devotion at times, but just shy 0f 32,000 braved the cold, including the usual Bolton shameful showing. The anticipation was summed up in my trip to the ground where with 5 people in the car the main topic of conversations were:

Haye v Harrison

The mystery missle in LA

Students wrecking a building in London. To be fair to them thier sugars levels and body clocks would have been all over the shop after staying up all night lining up for the new call of duty. Then a 24 hour diet of energy drinks and pop tarts as they strive to be the first to finish it.

I digres, back to the game. Well even the most ardent of critics must say that Bolton have been doing alright this season, and under Coyle (it is also compulsory for someone to now pipe up and shout 'He'll be our next manager ya know') they are playing well. The Allardyce yard dog years appear to have left a certain steel about them, but Coyle does have them far more professional, and actually allowing the ball to stay on the ground. Going into the game they sit 5th, after a good hiding being given to Tottenham, and racking up only 2 loses all season. Regardless most blues will have gone into the game thinking we should get 3 points here, all be it it will be hard fought. That scruffy bookies on the corner of the bullens and gwladys street that always seems to have smoke in it, and people shouting crap betting tips, must have took more 1-0 Cahill bets than anything else.

For most of the season it is fair to say that we have played some decent stuff on the deck, and looked dangerous going forward, but not put teams to the sword as we appear to be trying to walk it into the net. It is also now compulsor for someone to say (usually me), somebody is in for a good hiding from us soon. Yakubu after getting off the mark against Stoke looked a bit sharper at Blackpool, and did well to find space and turn well to set Cahill up for a great near post goal, that showed signs of them linking up well. Yet the bench it was for him as Moyes tried to find a differant formula to break down a well organised Bolton backline of freakish looking individuals, including the bizarley straight looking Zat Knight. Look at the lad he is like a straight line drawn with a ruler the weirdo.

The thinking must have been that Saha with his ability to shoot from outside the box aswell as turn in it may have served us beter than the Yak shoulder shuffle. Also despite a goal last week he dropped Coleman to give Bilyaletdinov a start.

Fellaini came in at centre mid for the very uninterested looking Heitinga. Some say he is being played out of position, some say he is just shite, some say he is just uninterested. I know what I think. News started to filter through pre-match that he was injured. No doubt a story will appear in the dutch press through the week about a bust up with Moyes or some criticism of him playing him out of position. Which will then be refutted with the no famous 'lost in translation' quote. For me I can't see him being here next year, but what do I know.

Other than that the team was as you were, with the same back line, and Pienaar, Arteta & Cahill completing the midfield.

Bolton appeared to come out of the traps quicker, with Everton struggling to get a foothold on the game, but as the match progressed we managed to play some decent stuff through the middle and on the wings, but it all too often broke down outside the 18 yard box. Bolton looked dangerous on the attack, and Distin at one point had to throw his hulk like frame in the path of a goal bount shot after Jagielka had been rolled by Elmander. There was also the opportunity for Bolton to take the lead, and they would have if it wasnt for the fact that every person inside the ground expected Howard to make a simple catch / punch on a deflection. Only for him to just stand there and watch it bounce infront of his goal and them harmlessly past. His usual rant stranegly missing this time, post incident.

Saha weaved his way in to shoot straight at the keeper, as did Cahill with the rebound. But in genreal Saha was kept to a few shots from oustide the box, which resulted in a number of corners, that it must be said were shocking in thier delivery for the vast majority of the game. Although from one corner Saha did have a header cleared off the line at the far post. As for corner taking though, for a man who has on occasion served up some superb goals from dead ball situations, Arteta's ability to take a corner leaves alot to be desired. During one such occasion Cahill almost ended up in the book for venting his frustartion at the ref with the most distinctive run in the league, for not awarding a penalty to us after recieving yet another 'Elton John' rear hug from Bolton's Cahill. Dowd gave him a teachers telling off. Cahill v Cahill then resumed at the far post and Dowd delivered one of those 'thats it' talks to the pair of them, which they both ignored.

HT 0-0 and on the balance of play a fair result, with most blues musing that it wasnt a bad half after a slow start. But the air was generally optimistic.

Second half starts and as like the first, Boltons fans try tirelessly to goad the home support with the usualy rhetoric about jobs, stealing, failure to sing. My personal favourite was the targetting of Neville as if there is some sort of rivalry between Bolton and Mna Utd. The Everton fans on the whole were quiet, and just left the fucking idiots to it as they went headlong for the 'biggest helmets at Goodsion all season' award. Which to be fair has alreday been awarded to Stoke, and will take some beating after witnessing Claude Greengrass and his daughter in the front of the paddock bit they have. Both resplendent in thier red long sleeve tops with a Stoke short sleeved kit over the top. The fat daughter aged* about 23 (*no not even with yours), with Katie on the back, and Claude Greengrass with Kaites Dad on the rear of his. A rare Sky Sports moment indeed.

Anyway, seconds out round two. Everton attack the Gwladys street, and it soons become apparent that if Howard Kendall was telling the truth then the Gwdladys street better start sucking as it wasnt looking like we were going to put the ball in the net through football, as Jussi Jaskelinan had one of his quitest games for some time save wise. To be fair Boltons back line, even with Zat Knight in it, who is just poor. Looked organised and held strong against unimaginative Everton. The corners kept coming, but with a freakish amount of high and disciplined marking Cahill got nowhere near any of them, neither did Fellaini or anyone else.

At the other end Bolton were also starting to get a few corners and they were being delivered with an unnerving amount of pace, which caused panic in the Everton area as a mere touch from anyone could have put it in the net. Which was almost the case as Holden drifted in unmarked at the far post to head goalbound, only for Howard to save it with an impression of Graham Norton who was just noticed a wasp. A good reactionary save never the less. Bolton were growing in confidence and Moyes replaced Bilyaletdinov with Coleman, and Bolton replaced Elmander with Klasnic. Coleman injected a large degree of pace into the team straight from the off down the right that had been missing with Bilyaletdinov there. To steal an observation from a mate, Bilyaletdinov's positioning in the second half was as if he was the refree. Largely taking up positions away from play. However when he drifted into the middle he occasionaly looked dangerous with a shot. But for the whole game he mostly looked well off the pace of the game. I still subscribe to the school of though that he would be better as asupport striker as cahill does. His goals show that, and his performances show that he is not a winger, as the game in the Premiership is too quick and there is not alot of space. But Seven goals in the few starts he had last season shows he can score. His slice infront of goal may show differant.

Coleman did what he does best and put the left back under pressure with pacey runs at him, but again the organised Bolton picked up thier men and held thier ground alowing little space for the forwards. As such Jaskelinan was rarely troubled.

Then it happened, as Moyes had Yakubu & Beckford striped off to come on, a very simpe ball was badly controlled by Jagielka, in a good impression of Rodwell against Sporting Lisibon. Matt 'likes to lob Howard' Taylor burst down the left wing and delivered a outward swinging low ball into the box that should have been saved / pushed away by Howard. Who for some reason seemed to pull his arms away from it. Klasnic drifted in at the far post to knock the ball into an unguarded net. Howards usualy rants again missing as even he thought he shoud have done better.

The game restarts and its as you were for Everton, with Moyes appearing to change his mind over the subs as Beckford & Yakubu put back on those quite snazy white training tops. Regardless the two eventually come on, but strangely Neville is taken off, and in doing so gooses any threat Coleman was causing, and Yakubu comes on for Saha. For me Cahill should have come off as he was having no impact on the game at all, but Moyes seem's allergic to substituting the fella, as he subscribes to the 'he may just nick you a goal' school of thought. Yes stats wise he avergaes a goal every 3 and half games, but when players are as ineffective as he was in a game, you shouldn't nullify a threat that is doing something, as Coleman was, on the off chance a lad who hasnt threatened in 80 minutes, will do it in 20.

Regardless Everton carried and the impressive Fellaini, who has the starnge ability to be able to control a ball on his chest and foot at the same time does so on the half way line and is clattered by the yard dog that is Robinson. A tangle of legs ensues, and as the rolling comes to an end and Robinson attempts to get up. Fellaini obliges by trying to push him up with his foot right in his goolies. Strangley Dowd didnt see this as the obvious Samaritan act that it was and sent Fellaini off. Confusion ensued as a large selection of the crowd thought they had been given the card and also left the area. Bolton threatened to get a second as Everton looked clueless goalwise, despite Pienaars putting in his usual great showing. As the end of injury time approached Baines ran 15 yards after a hopeless ball that

Chung-Yong Lee was trying to shepherd out. Through tenacity he managed to disposses Lee and slid the ball to Beckford on the edge of the area. Beckford turned his man and hit a curling shot up and over everyone and into the top car corner of the Boton goal. Jubilation ensued in the walkways of Goodison park, lets face it we were all stodd near the exits. Everton secure a point, that in fairness was the right result based on the game over all. The fact it was scored in the 94th minute when only 3 minutes was put up will no doubt he straight into Tony Pulis' ref's fanatsy league.

So that takes it to 3 goals a large number of season ticket holders have now missed at home, which is far lower than the amount of points we have dropped.

Man of the match - Distin, pipping Pienaar

Must do better man of the match - Howard

Ref - Didnt have alot to do, but seemed alright with what he did 7/10

Next up Arsenal at home, but I wonder if I should put a sly fiver on Harrison? I heard someone said Haye has a moody chin.......................

mickmack